Олег обстреливал и пулял ракетками Внимательнее надо читать, вы же теперь повязаны одними фотками жоп Бомбить надо свысока ... бомбить - это как срать ... нужна дистанция, иначе обрызгает
Ууух, круто) Я бы тоже на тренажере "полетала") На нем поди ж возможностей больше, чем на реальных летных средствах) А я летала пассажиром на Ми-8, парашютистом на Ан-2 и на нем же отдельно пассажиром, пассажиром на "Вильге" и вторым пилотом на мотопланере "Бланик Л-13") В вертушке мне запомнилась земля под разными углами, в Ан-2 нам разок горки устроили, так я там посшибала обе лавки, клевала носом иллюминаторы и разбила бровь, ибо не была предупреждена тому, что такое "горки" а радостно кричала "А давайте!" в ответ на предложение их устроить. Вильга запомнился мне тем, что внутри салон такой же, как в обычной легковушке на бренной земле, а Бланик - вообще самая замечательная весчь и самые необычные воспоминания. Я сначала даже не верила, что туда люди помещаются, т.к. свиду это вытянутое корыто, куда садишься так, что колени уши закрывают поверх радиогарнитуры прям, между ногами - рычаг штурвала) Потом сверху, как крышкой гроба, накрывают стеклянным колпаком и далее самое интересное! У бланика одно колесо, и валяется он на аэродроме, оперевшись на одно крыло. И чтобы взлететь, несколько человек берут за это крыло и бегом начинают вас за него разгонять Смотрится ну ооочень забавно) А, а сверху у него на паре железяк двигатель от мопеда
А тем временем, один из моих учеников по инглишу (ему 15 лет) под моим руководством написал первую главу аццкого романа про поросенка Петра.
PIGGY NAMED PYOTR CHAPTER ONE DESCENT INTO HELL
Once upon a time there lived a little piggy named Pyotr! He never had any presents for Chrisrmas,poor little piggy named Pyotr.Even a toilet paper,ragged and useless.One winter day,after Christmas,he decided to mail a letter for Santa.But he didn't have even a paper,as I told and a pencil as well.Guess what he did?...You may guess he bought a pencil and a sheet of paper?Hell no!This poor little piggy named Pyotr tore his ear and wrote down on it with his blood:"Dear Satan!Where are you?...I need your presents sooo much!I could have wrote more but I'll be soon out of blood..."(The mistake was caused by the pain.) And it also was to be told that it happened on Halloween - as long as he had been waiting for an answer.And what happens on Halloween, would you ask?Nothing good happens!So an Impy visited this little piggy named Pyotr... -Wow,-exclaimed Pyotr. -A red elf!He has been sent by Santana,there is no doubt! -Red elf my ass!My name is Impy number 385448. -Hello,little red elf Impy!My name is little piggy Pyotr. -I'm not an elf!Can't u see a red pointed tail behind my ass?! -Have you come from Santna? -Ummm...You're right, stupid piggy.You must accomplish one delicate mission... -What mishon? - misunderstood Pyotr. -U must kill Santaaaa!!!! - growled Impy, rolling his eyes. -What does it meeaan? -U tear him apart, u eat him alive, u hang him on his own gut, u can throw him throuhgt the blades...I don't rly give a flying duck about it!U just kill him!! - growled Impy louder, losing his temper. -ok,-answered this little piggy named Pyotr.-And than I have my long awaited present! -Hahaha...Ok,just do it!And you will see what will happen.Now I'll give you a weapon.Follow me...NOW! Impy passed by the piggy and opened his cellar. -ooh...I didn't even suspect I'd got a cellar, - wondered Pyotr. - A cellar leading to Hell! So they went down by the rough long stairway to Hell in the pitch darkness. Hell was really hellish!It was too much red things and too little oxygen.Sinners were being fried in woks and blasphemers were being tortured.Bats were flying above their heads and beneath dark vault reflecting gleams of the infernal flame. Not far,in the dark of the very-very dark corner,there were Hitler,Bin Laden,Graf Chocola and very-very bad English teacher playing cards with poker faces.In front of this bad company Bon Scott(RIP) had still been singing the song "Highway to Hell"!! Behind the little piggy named Pyotr were infesting unforgiven souls...And being stuck among them he felt a little chill running down his spine right to the end of his trembling tail. -Get a grip!-growled Impy and Bon Scott(RIP) hit the strings.-It's not the scariest...You'd better think about the amunition. We are aproaching Arsenal, aren't we? Then Piggy named Pyotr saw eleven men wearing red T-shirts, white shorts handing out weapons to some demons. They all looked familiar. -What do they do here? -They serve the Evil since 1891 in Arsenal. -Awesome! -The shoot cannonballs too! -Oh yeah, I can imagine it. It's gross! Eleven evil servants took Pyotr to see weapon store. It was a dreadful dark building. Its roof was decorated with cannoballs painted like football balls. In corners were piled weapons. Little piggy named Pyotr could see rusty swords, old katanas, dusty light sabers, moulded hammers, blunt battle axes and more of it... Having looked through all the weapons our piggy took a cursed spear and a couple of poisoned daggers. But one of these Arsenalers (named Arse-Shavin) didn't approve his selection. -I suggest you a better weapon of choise. Here is a slingshot shooting expired Easter eggs! When egg explodes, - Arse-Shavin explaned, - pungent stench bursts out, and even the most mean and nasty fecaloid demon can't stand it! Ahahaha... - laughed the demon. -Ahaha-Pyotr laughed innocently.-I'm lovin' it: slingshots and especialy Easter eggs! -Every Assassin should wield a groovy car,-proceeded Impy with a thesis.-Maybe you become excited with Big Bad Steamrollers, don't you?!? -I'm not old enough to have a driver's licence!-squeaked Pyotr guilty.-To say more of it I'm afraid of steamrollers, they make piggies look flat. -Or we can offer you a High-Class bike,-added Arse-Shavin.-That bike has beaten a steamroller once. -Woow!-exclamed Pyotr oinking joyfully.-I always wanted a High-Class bike as a Christmas gift! But Satan that badass always ignored my letters! And there was a bike looking like a piece of junk cause it was so injured after victory over a streamroller.
That little piggy named Pyotr with a junkbike, a slingshot and a plastic bag full of rotten Easter eggs was ready for his first hellish mission.
Леша, это пипец. Просто квинтэссенция трэша. Ты там случайно обучаешь не ребенка из фильма Омен?
Цитата
This poor little piggy named Pyotr tore his ear and wrote down on it with his blood:"Dear Satan!Where are you?...I need your presents sooo much!I could have wrote more but I'll be soon out of blood..."(The mistake was caused by the pain.)
Цитата
-U tear him apart, u eat him alive, u hang him on his own gut, u can throw him throuhgt the blades...I don't rly give a flying duck about it!U just kill him!! - growled Impy louder, losing his temper.
Ганнибал Лектер отдыхает.
Цитата
Not far,in the dark of the very-very dark corner,there were Hitler,Bin Laden,Graf Chocola and very-very bad English teacher playing cards with poker faces.
very-very bad English teacher - это случайно не твой предшественник?
Пришел домой. И мне сообщают, что у нас в универе был обнаружен подозрительный пакет, который признали было бомбой и всех эвакуировали! Интересно, что я в это время как не в чем ни бывало ковырял пальцем в носу на парах, и сам узнал об этом от наших чрезвычайно стремительных тележурналистов Вот такие дела.
З.Ы. Алексей, просто нет слов! Это дествительно самый трэшовый из трэшовых рассказов, который способно переварить мое воображение! Почему то приходят ассоциациий с Петром Первым
Офф-Топ
8.9.2011, 21:17
мужской
женский
